Along with body re-alignment, healthy eating and exercise, I am determined to get my mind right too. There are so many options out there to help with this initiative and I will try to share my experiences as I go along this part of the journey.
Last week, I was invited by my wonderful sister-in-law to join her in a series of workshops centered around finding your "Heart's Wisdom". With all the stresses of the modern American life, we can tend to lose those things that make us truly happy. When we went through our introductions and it became my turn, I said my name and continued by saying that I was a busy mom of three very active young children, wife to a busy executive, an on-again/off-again HR professional, and ended my intro with the statement, "I pretty much live by the three calendars that I keep". This was me and I was very proud of it. I see the successes of my happy household and I know that my current role is very important. I have no doubts about that.
Many of the amazing women sharing the room with me that day were past this stage in their lives. Many of them were newly retired or new empty-nesters and in a place of true life-transition. Several ladies were moving into a new stage of life without their significant other. Maybe a few of them were trying to "find themselves" again. I was very excited to meet these ladies and thought I would for sure get some advice on surviving the coming teenage years and being one of the oldest kindergarten moms at school next year.
As we went through the first exercise, I realized that I was in new territory here. Oh, I've been to self-help seminars and workshops where you leave with a list of things to do that should improve your day-to-day activities and give you more time for "me-time". But this was different!
We went through several activities which would help us to dig deep into our hearts to remove some ot the static that we live in and really review who we are; what makes us happy; what will really matter in life as we look back on our lives at age 102. There was a lot of self-reflection going on here; maybe even a few tears as well.....
Self-reflection can really be difficult. Accepting the answers that result from that self-reflection can be even more difficult. No one in that room was telling me that I've lost my true-self, but what I was realizing was that the calendar of activities, the pressures of living in this crazy world that moves a thousand miles a minute was swallowing me up.
Oh, I won't be changing my kids' activities, they need them! I won't be denying support to my busy husband who supports us financially and emotionally. Those can not change at this stage in our lives. But then, what will I change.....do I really need to change? This is where the homework comes in.
We left this amazing session a little raw and emotional but so very fulfilled to be going down this journey together. We all will have different answers to how we did our homework....but we will all arrive to the next session with a bit more balance on the scale. Here's what I will be working on over the next six weeks (in the privacy of my home....I promise not to share all the gory details):
Homework: Start a daily journal describing who I am by answering these questions:
- What do I love about this life, what gives me energy?
- What about this life enlivens me?
- What would happen if I did more of those things that give me energy and enliven me?
As we went through the session that day, something my husband said to me years ago kept creeping into my inner-conversation. "You need a hobby." When he originally said those words to me, I replied with an answer like, "I don't have time now for hobbies. You and the kids are my hobby." And I thought it was true, however, he and I both have been in somewhat of a professional transition over the last several months and we've both been doing this type of self-reflection naturally. We are both working on our hobbies and supporting each other as we learn how to do this all over again.
He asked me how the session went. I gave him a synopsis expecting him to react with some silly remarks but he didn't. He seemed to understand completely what it was all about. In the end, we only have this one life.....so let's do what is necessary to make it a good life, living without regrets.
With that, I will end here and start my homework.
Cheers!
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